Author: Sakari Sun

Yesterday I was sitting at a table attempting to calm my breathing but my quick heart beat wasn’t helping and the feeling in my right arm wasn’t helping either coupled with the sensations in my chest. I wasn’t afraid of dying I was however concerned of my bodily reactions. So I called a center and they said Ma’am your symptoms are for emergency care. So I finally got off it and admitted I think I needed to go there for the up tenth time because if I went anywhere else they would send me there. Now here is where everything took a turn:

We walked in. I sat in the chair. I was leaning over because now I had to adjust to the smells. The woman behind the counter said what’s the problem ma’am. I said I was experiencing radiating sensations in my chest and my right arm feels funny. My friend standing behind me told me I should tell them everything. So I said okay just so you know I feel funny in my uterus too but my periods coming ( I turned and said sorry Chris, he said no problem). The woman said how long has this been going on. I said for a few days it went away and then I was feeling it again that day. Then Chris said tell her about when you were hospitalized in Africa. the woman said where in Africa ma’am were you hospitalized. I said Burkina Faso. She said ma’am where is that. I said West Africa. And shit. got. real.

First she put on a mask. then she made me put on a mask. then she told the people around her who also put on masks. then she stood up and there was more questions they took my passport they wrote down Burkina Vaso (not a misspell they thought I said vaso) then they had us move into another room. All the while I said what about my chest and arm here. Then another woman came out she had on full garb protection with a mask for her mouth and eyes they moved us into another room and I took my temperature and some vitals and started getting vague. Sadly she said people were scared and freaking out back there in the ER. I was like you…you guys are in suits and its really not helping (it wasn’t at all I started breathing faster).

I had to pee they wouldn’t let me out of the room they brought a toilet to me. Then after an hour (no one gave a care about my chest by the way as you can tell) I was just walking around holding my hand to my chest and they were like ma’am tell me again this and that. my temperature was 99 they were like that’s a slight fever so we are going to give you something for that. I didn’t want to take their medicine it was just 99. Then they moved us to another room which was far more isolated and taped off with a section in between where people were to place supplies and throw things out. Thankfully Chris was there he said, if they are so concerned where is his mask. I really laughed at that one. They never gave him one. Phone calls went out across the country and to the CDC. The county health person got involved. The head doctors of the Hospital got involved. Two came to visit us. One wearing the full garb and asking me questions. I really wanted him to get it right and I was so glad I did check before all of this even if it was in glancing about Ebola because I had to tell them. I never kissed anyone. I never so much as touched anyone much while I was there. I poop fine. and I don’t have a fever. But can we talk about my chest and the mere fact that I’m really hungry. I said I felt light headed I didn’t say I had a headache.

They told me I would likely have to stay there until they got my test results from the CDC back. We said how long would that be. He said probably a week or three days they were really trying. They had a room sectioned off for me (another one) but if my friend left he wouldn’t be able to come back in. Actually he probably couldn’t leave. He shook Chris’s hand and left. I got that sandwich.

Well after a few more hours or something another doctor came in without the full on suits and no mask at all. He said I’m sorry about all this but we had to make sure but the symptoms you are exhibiting doesn’t point to Ebola. You also aren’t anemic anymore like you were in Africa we feel you might have been dehydrated and that’s what made your counts off. I was thanked for coming in because I apparently showed them how ready they were if there was an emergency and they saw some ways they could improve. I was given a discharge sheet, a GI cocktail (oh my gosh it was like heaven) and sent on my way. I have pictures of course I didn’t know it was illegal but I figure since I was in isolation and no one else was around it was okay to take pictures. but here is one:

Of course more things happened but I think this is good. Good day people. Just so you know I feel okay again the GI cocktail did the trick and they think I might have some kind of bacteria. (that did not come from Africa)

What I liked about today was that I saw a dear brother of mine and we played flutes and drums together and he kicked my ass in chess three times. It truly taught me not to nurture during the game but go for the king by any means possible. Also plan ahead a few steps because setting up the center court isn’t good enough. I liked sharing with my friend about my experience with the car sharing program Uber and how I honestly thought one night that I could yell Uber and the people would pull over. I yelled it a few times before my friend Teri let me on that that doesn’t work and you need the app. If you can imagine my hand waving and gestures in the middle of a cool night. Anyway that was a side note.

What was difficult about today was an email I received and how I thought at first to ignore it because I wasn’t ready for a response. I was just going to let it be, read it, and admit how exhausted I was to myself. Then I felt how much it would just nip at me and so I let it all out in a reply. Not my best moment in the world but I felt it was a sit on the pot or get off moment. Not the best analogy either. But today I think I would rather be honest than hide which would have been probably a bit easier for me.

What I like about tonight is that I am in my room. I am here. and I am very appreciative of this moment.

On the art of  Reinvention.

There was a passage in a book which hinted at the movement of the stars and the language we speak. for such a reason some stories I rarely recount anymore. for in the book I mention there is an age old belief brought to light. When we are born the light and placement of the stars and planets in the sky effects our mentality and therefore our behavior. We hardly think of the cosmic connection to the words we speak and the planets arrangement when the fire spits.

Fire in the context of words, language, logos. for it is thought when one speaks of a past event they recall the placement of the stars and planets. and it is the stars and planets memory connecting with the fire of our speech which is living and therefore a flame which could move in the placement recounted upon. or summon such a placement to the point you feel it as if it was happening or it tries to replay its’self. 🙂

It is no wonder why people feel during recapitulation that they are in the exact moment recounted and it is what one is willing to do in such a  moment which will determine if they will live out the night mare, addictive, or additive. If they will finally wrap it up and give the experience to the dark eagle in exchange for more life and more vitality which isn’t being sucked on like a breast filled with the sugary substance of comfort and fear of the unpaved. It is moments like such which will determine if you can begin anew, a whole new life. A life in which you decide if you will stay continuously on the carousel of dead horses or take the exit to the unknown and reinvention.

Which brings me to my next point. To reinvent yourself you must do the following.

Begin a new.

Do not bring up the past, leave it as the reference it is. Never to leave the library.

Do not talk to your self. ( chattering to yourself in your head, the chatter is usually about  old events and what you coulda, shoulda, woulda done)

When the fire spits make it count. Speak loudly to beings with fur and without two eyes to see. Stop using this and that to address what you see. Make up your own language fitting for you.

Be grateful to the stars and planets. For you know not what you do when the fire spits, the words spark.